Hi folks! I'm Harley - number one replacement for The Archive Dog. First of all,
forget everything you've ever been told about Emma. Believe me, from what
the cat has told us, she was no saint. But try telling that to our owners. Just
this last week, The Archive Wife was threatening to dig the sainted one up to
prove how perfect her teeth were! Okay, there was a reason - Fruska has a bit of
a problem with her dental hygene. Still, that doesn't warrant digging any dog up.
Fruska, in case you wondered, is MY bitch. She's not too photogenic just now
as she's got an allergic reaction to something she was fed when we moved in. The
result was she lost her cords and now she's only allowed out at the dead of night!
The cat thinks it's hilarious. The trouble is Fruska's convinced she's the most beautiful
dog there is. The owners have decided not to hurt her feelings and have covered
every mirror in the house with a photo of her when she had hair. Even this morning,
I caught her staring at an old photo, obviously thinking she was looking at her
reflection. I'm telling you, when they handed out brains, she missed out in a big way.
Don't worry though - I make up for it. It's not that I'm big headed but I've
got it all - brains and drop dead gorgeous looks. There's not an ounce of flab on
my finely honed body - and believe me, I know how to use it, if you get my meaning! I know it's easy to
brag so I thought I'd treat you all to a few recent snaps The Archive Boss took of me.
In the first study, you'll see what I was talking about body-wise. Look at those
haunches; that head; that pose. You'll note the taut lead attaching me to some
land lubber too scared to get their feet wet. The quiet nobility of my pose I think
picks up on my creative side, as I wonder at the joys of nature and contemplate how
to get the 8 ducks that just swam by.
The other two shots capture the daredevil within. The dog of danger, excitement
and thrills. Give me an open road and a fast car and I'll demand they let me hang
out. Here I am as we speed along country lanes at 60 miles an hour. The nut driving
had his hand out the window with one of those digital camera things. I know it doesn't
look like we were travelling fast - that's why I've included the third photo. It
doesn't catch me in the most flattering way but look at the cords flying; see the
still open eyes; wonder at the bravery of such a dog!
While we're on the subject of dogs, there's one out there that better watch out.
There's only room in rock music for one Puli - and it's going to be me. That wimp
Winston better not come round here trying to show off or he'll discover what a real
Well, that's enough of me venting my spleen for now. I'll make sure I'm back in
a few weeks to give you another taster of what life's like for the archive dogs.
Did I mention the constant noise? The piles of newspapers everywhere? No? Well, maybe