This is my trying to catch some zzzzs while the archive owner plays around with one of those quickcam things. Do some people NEVER grow up?Um! I'm not quite sure what to say this time around. I'm writing this early in the morning of Saturday 29th June - MY BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Anyway, enough of the celebrations - I shouldn't be here according to the vet. He says I should've popped my clogs/kicked the bucket/departed this mortal coil a week or so back. Stupid bastard!
Hey! don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I feel great but I would like to be informed as to the state of my health in a slightly more subtle manner. This "wham, bam, thank you - you're dead" lark just isn't on!
I can hear you now saying, "what the hell is this dog talking about?". Okay, I'll bring you up to date. My liver seems to have packed in and I've got jaundice, like BAAAAD!!!!! They did some blood tests and everything was so far off the scale, I'm setting new records (typical of a Puli, if you don't mind me saying so). That was three weeks ago, so you could say I'm on borrowed time here. Not that I really care as it's turning into one of those really shitty summers: rain, wind, over cast skies and COLD. I swear it could be November. If you're reading this in sunny smog-bound L.A. or somewhere equally COOL - Do I hate you? YES!
On the subject of vets - I bit this one. Well, he was leaning over me wanting to smell my breath and going on about the fact that I'd had it and I just couldn't resist it - I snapped at him. Caught him smack on the nose. Blood everywhere! Archive dog owner getting slightly uptight! Me laughing my tits off (believe me: I've got six, I know what I'm talking about!). Vet with blood gushing everywhere and some kid wanting to be a vet taking a week to find out what being a vet's really like. I expect I'll be blamed for putting a budding vet off their future career.
Anyway, I got dragged back to the vet today. He seemed surprised to see me, which I though was a bit weird but I won't let that get me down. I got another course of antibiotics as I've nearly finished the last one. The hassle is, this lot is yellow and the last lot was white. The vet (yes, the one I bit) says they only come in yellow but he managed to give me white ones. Seems to have bugged the archive dog owner more than a tad! The vet is just waiting on getting his papers through so that he can emigrate to Australia. WATCH OUT OZ! Seriously, if he can't get his pill colours right, what good is he gonna be dealing with all the weird (but wonderful) animals out there?
As I know there are a bunch of you ozzies that read these pages, I'll warn you now. The vet goes by the name of Guy Gordon. I know that as he wears a badge with it printed on his jacket, That always worries me, after all - my owner knows who he is without having a badge to remind him. Mmmmm! makes me wonder, it really does.Talking of the owner, he's taken to force feeding me - I kid you not! I'm getting a mixture of chicken soup (what would my Jewish forebears say?) and raw egg, squirted down my throat several times a day. Strange thing is - it must be doing something as my bowels which weren't working for ten days or so are back to something like normal and I feel quite perky, to say the least! The main thing is I'm still getting taken out in the car, even if I do get a bit overheated at times.
Now, if you don't mind I'm going to get a decent night's sleep, after all they may have something special planned for my birthday, who can say? The archive owner says that if I'm still here in a week's time I'll get to do another page and we'll keep that going until the end - the sadist! If I don't make it through to next Friday, c'est la vie as they say. Just remember be nice to dogs and Pulis in particular.
Shame! It looks like I'll never get to write:
The (Unofficial) Hungarian Puli Home Page.
A day in the life of the archive dog.
Another day in the life of the archive dog.
...six months on.
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